This weeks' Monday Moan is having a bit of a grumble about the empty shops on the Street. What happened to the Bookies? It's still there but no-one works in it or lives in the flat above.  And where did Eric the bookie go?   And what's happening with Diggory's bakery shop now that Craig's gone and not living in there any more?  So, that's two empty shops on the Street that are often seen but never referred to.  And don't they both have flats above them? Both standing empty? By 'eck, if that were real life, they'd have had their windows put through and graffiti sprayed all over them by now.  Bah humbug, grumble etc.

This week’s Monday Moan isn’t so much having a right old rant, it’s more of a sulk. I started this post by trying to type with one hand while sulking with my thumb in my mouth but the words all came out like this - tgestaybb - so I stopped.  I’ll pout instead.  There, that feels better. There was no Coronation Street last night, Sunday night, of all nights!  It’s the night before I head back to work for another weeks’ worth of slog and Sunday’s Corrie episode is the one I enjoy most. I know we had two episodes on Friday but that doesn’t count. I want my Sunday night episode! Sunday nights just aren’t the same without Corrie. And why was it taken off? For some cars that go vroom. Oh, I’m not best pleased. After I’ve finished blogging this moan, I’m going to stand in the corner with my arms crossed and try out to out-scowl Albert Tatlock.

This week the Monday Moan is having a right old go at the way Bev's boozing on Coronation Street is being portrayed.  The woman's a lush, she clearly needs help. Ok, so she's grieving for Fred and we can forgive her at the moment for having one gin too many but she's always been partial to a drop more than she ought and Corrie are doing this as comedy when alcoholism is an addiction and disease. Remember Jamie's mum, the real Mrs Baldwin?  With Corrie's Cilla in danger of getting skin cancer from her tanfastic sunbed, shouldn't the dangers of drinking too much, too often, be highlighted?  Or am I being too mean on Bev Unwin?

This week The Monday Moan is revisiting somethng we've already got steamed up about on Corrieblog once before a long time ago - women drivers.  We're having a  proper Monday Moan about it this time because we're fed up with Fiz being seen as a comedy target just because she's learing to drive on Coronation Street.  She's almost run down Blanche and Bev in her attempts to press the pedal to the metal and even mild-mannered Kirkeh is starting to lose patience with her. But why is it that when any of the blokes learn to drive - most recently Adam Barlow - they sail through their lessons and driving test without any of the to-do that accompanies one of the Corrie women doing the same thing?  Grrrr....

This week the Monday Moan is having a right old go at the Hair Salon in Coronation Street.  Has anyone ever come out of there in the history of Coronation Street looking any different to when they went in? We see the Corrie crimpers washing and curling, styling and colouring, perming and brushing, but no matter who it is under the dryer or at the back-wash, their hair never looks any different after it's been "done".  This has gone on for years and surely, now, it's time for someone to come out looking a bit, just a tiny bit, different coming out of the salon. Argh....

Related Post: Adam Barlow - Get Your Hair Cut!

Harking back, if I may, to the question "where are all the cars?" of a few weeks back, I'd like to moan about how normally significant events in people's lives go unremarked on Coronation Street, and it's the issue of a car that has reminded me.  Rita's car, to be precise.  It wasn't many months ago that we saw Rita driving off somewhere in a car with a "55" plate.  Now that might not mean much to viewers outside the UK, but basically it meant the car was brand spanking new.

I don't know about you, but when I buy a new car it's a pretty big thing and I make sure all my mates know about it.  But here's Rita, driving around in a sparkly new motor and never a word was mentioned.  Tsk!

What is it with the scriptwriters on my favourite soap? Why do they insist, every few months, on sending one of the Coronation Street women bonkers?  This time it’s poor Claire, trying to cope with post-natal depression before she’s sectioned next week by Frankie Stillman and sent to t’hospickle by Ashley.  Not so long ago it was Sally going doolally on the moors with Rosie locked in the car.  And what about all the other poor dears who’ve been through the mill?  Remember Emily’s “episodes” a few years ago when she kept forgetting stuff; we never got to the bottom of what was ailing Samantha Failsworth and her manic moments; Ivy went nuts and was sent to convalesce in a convent; Carol Baldwin turned to the bottle when she couldn’t cope; Zoe joined a cult when she lost her baby and Kev’s ex-wife Alison went crazy too.  What’s with the women on Coronation Street that’s sending them all round the bend and/or to the drink?

In this week’s Monday Moan I’m having a right old bitch about Corrie crimper Maria. On her salary at Audrey’s hair salon, how on earth can she afford to furnish her new flat with appliances and furniture –so quickly and of such quality? Even if Charlie, as landlord, has paid for the furniture and is renting the flat furnished to her, how can she afford to pay for the wall hangings, pictures, bedding, linen, all the bits and bobs she's got? And where does she get the money to buy those glam clothes? Where? Ok, so she doesn’t have any travel costs to work and back and she’s not got a social life to spend money on unless you count the odd white wine in the Rovers and she never eats. But still, it’s totally unrealistic that she should have been able to kit out the flat the way she’s done and continue to dress as good as she does on the money she earns.  It’s just not right. Grrrrr…..

This week I’m  having a right old Monday Moan about the dogs on Coronation Street. Chesney’s dog, Schmeichel the Great Dane but in a brief appearance last week which made me wonder where the rest of the pooches have gone to. Where the ‘eck is Eccles?  Much fuss was made of little Eccles joining the Barlow household after Blanche’s mate Lena left it to her in her will.  It didn’t seem to take to Ken but Molly gave him dog-training sessions and things seemed to be looking up for the lucky little pup.  But where’s it gone?  I reckon it’s sitting on Adam Barlow’s head.  And is Tyrone’s dog, Monica missing? Is it living in the kennels with Kirkeh? Has it made a bid for freedom, tunnelling out of Vera’s kitchen and away from the cobbles?   It never gets mentioned anymore.  I think Corrie could do with some canine consistency!  Grrrr....

When the tabloids scream that a Coronation Street character’s leaving, they should go, walk out the door, don’t turn around now, they’re not part of the set any more. They shouldn’t come back, stick around for a bit and then leave again like Richard Fleeshman’s just done. Either they’ve gone or they haven’t. It drives me bonkers when press releases say Corrie characters are leaving, then they don’t. You think to yourself, oh well, ta-ra then, only to find the character’s come back while you were putting the kettle on at half time. And then there’s another big noise in the papers to say the person’s leaving again, this time for good, they’re definitely going this time, oh yes, but ITV are leaving the door open for them. Oh for heaven’s sake. If you’re going, go, just wake me up when you’ve gone.

Mardy’s a wonderful word. I love it and so do The Arctic Monkeys.  And this week The Monday Moan is having a right old go at mardy mums on Coronation Street.  Right now, Gail and Eileen can’t crack a smile between them. Eileen Grimshaw’s too grim and Gail’s face is so sour that even her hair is trying to take off and flee, have you noticed?  Sally and Rosie are at odds with one another – again. Blanche and Deidre have never got on well, and neither have Deirdre and Tracy.  Cilla wins no prizes for rearing Chesney and Fiz via children’s homes and a succession of ‘uncles’.  Bev slept with daughter Shelley’s fella Charlie.  I don’t think there have been any good, solid, friendly mother-child relationships on Coronation Street – except perhaps for Janice and the girls, only one of which is actually her daughter (Toyah) while the other is Les’ (Leanne).  Can you think of any decent Corrie mums who have been good to their kids?

This week’s Monday Moan is trying to figure out why on earth Corrie introduced the cannabis factory story a few months ago. Does anyone know?  First off they brought in Jo the air hostess who no-one had seen before – or since – it was just a fleeting glimpse of a jobbing actress with blonde hair. And she brought her dog Muttley with her which David Platt took out for walks and dog-sat in her flat while she was pouring tea and coffee 30,000 ft up in the sky.  The flat Jo was supposed to be living in was the one above the bookies – the one where just about all of the characters at some point have lived, it seems, well, at least Bev, Deirdre, Todd and Sarah have lived there as far as I know.  But I still can’t understand the cannabis factory storyline, the mysterious (blink and you missed her) air-hostess and her canine companion.  Enquiring minds need to know!

This week’s Monday Moan is having a right old bitch. What with toxic-Tracy Barlow snarling and spitting all over the Street and Charlie Stubbs the builder bullying and pushing his weight around on the cobbles, I’ve had enough.  Now there’s talk of Karen McDonald possibly returning to Corrie and she’s not exactly Mavis Riley, is she?  She’ll be wearing her fighting hat if she does return.  There’s too many Corrie cat-fights at the minute, too much slapping, too often.  Why all the punching, knocking down on the cobbles and dressing gowns at dawn between Eileen and Gail? Let’s have a bit of peace and quiet, friendship and lurve.  I reckon it’s time for another talent night in the Rovers to lighten the mood – and if this happens may I be the first to petition to bring back that magical mind-reading duo “what hobject ham I holding hin my hand?” Shadow and Son!

Sometimes, there are questions in life that just need to be asked. Such as - where does electricity come from?  How long are the legs on a baby giraffe?  And where does Ken Barlow park his car?  It’s not only Ken’s car I’m moaning about, it’s all the others such as Adam Barlow’s sports car, Dev’s Saab, the Peacock people-carrier – where do they all get parked?  They just seem to appear whenever they’re needed and hidden out of view at all other times.  Does Rita have a car to get to the cash and carry? Where does Roy park his Rolls? Where did Keith’s car come from when he drove Craig off the cobbles t’other week?  And while I’m having a general rant, where’s that little dog Eccles gone and why is Deirdre never at work in her job with the council? Enquiring minds need to know.

Last Monday we had a moan about crap props on Corrie and this week we’re having a go at Eileen Grimshaw, the Streetcars controller.  Don’t get me wrong, we love Eileen on Corrieblog and we think Sue Cleaver’s fab.  And therein lies the problem. Sue Cleaver is a wonderful actress and Eileen is one of Coronation Street’s better characters. So why don’t they give Eileen a big juicy storyline instead of having her mope around the cobbles with a face on her that looks like it needs a strong cup of tea and a couple of Hob-Nobs to cheer it up? The only time she gets any action is when she has a fight in the Street with Gail in their nighties.  I reckon Eileen is well underused as a character, she’s wasted, especially when we know what Sue Cleaver’s really capable of doing. Corrieblog demands more from the wonderful Eileen.  Grrrr....

What with Wednesday’s Yay or Nay and Friday’s Fab Photo, it’s all go here at Corrieblog corner. We’ve now got The Monday Moan, a chance to vent spleen and let rip on something that’s been bugging us for ages in Corrie. This week we're having a go at crap Corrie props as one in particular really gets my goat. You know when anyone leaves or arrives in the street they're usually carrying a suitcase or other large bag... why is always so obvious that the suitcase is empty and weighs nothing?  When characters practically chuck their cases into backs of taxis and onto buses are we really supposed to believe there's actually something in there - like their wordly possesions and everything they own? Or just a spare copy of their script and a packet of biscuits for the tea-break?  Grrrr....