This is Weatherfield, not Las Vegas!

Thus spaketh the Registrar and, with that, he did not pronounce them "Husband and Wife". And seriously, can you blame him for refusing to marry them? I have to say, though, these were the funniest scenes on Coronation Street in a long time. Right from the start when she was fitting fake boobs in the dress to enhance her cleavage to the very end when she was carried back home to the Rovers, wilted and nearly passed out, I chuckled the whole way through. I even hooted out loud a few times. I was also touched, as was Sue, at the lovely scenes between Becky and Hayley and later, Becky and Jason. The poor lad, did you see his face when he saw Becky all decked out as the pink fairy bride? You just knew he was thinking it could have been him waiting for that vision of loveliness. And she really was lovely. You'd think that pink confection would have looked really wrong and tacky but I don't think she could have picked anything that suited her better, right down to the red shoes! The tiara was a bit much over that high-pouffed hair, mind you, but I *loved* the hot pink extension she had on one side.

The Registrar was great, wasn't he? He wanted to be out sailing and was surprised *anyone* would have booked on Friday the thirteenth. He even looked like a sailor and I was disappointed he didn't have on his little cap and navy blazer. I'm only surprised he just didn't allow any bookings for that date. He had the best line of the night (see title) but that was followed closely by Becky about to enter the office with "Stevie Boy, Brace yourself!" and then kicked the door open and walked, no, swayed down the aisle to Bonnie and Clyde! Brilliant!!! Wasn't Katherine Kelly great? It's not easy to play drunk and be believable but she really nailed it. Wobbling down that aisle, having a sit down and then nearly falling at the front and making it into a curtsey, that was a touch of brilliance. And I'm really glad she wasn't slurring and really acting stupid. She was loud, she was jubilant, exuberant and wobbly by the end but she was still talking relatively clearly and coherently. On the whole.

The earlier climb to the factory roof was fun, too but a bit weird. Luke came up and was angry that there was a party going on on the roof of his factory. How did they get in, through all the working people and up the stairs without anyone noticing? You know they had to. She wouldn't have gone quietly. By rights, he and Tony both should have been chasing her up the stairs to usher her back down straight away. Anyway, that doesn't matter. She was Flaming Loved and wanted everyone to know. Luke's line about the "soon to be corpse bride" cracked me up, too as did Steve's mobile ring tone of the Bridal March.

Down sides? Poor Amy looked bored out of her mind. They really do need to get a new actor for that part. One that has a modicum of animation. And Hayley's outfit? Spectacularly bad but then, that's pretty typical of Hayley's fashion sense. Roy was wearing a suite but still wore his old jacket over it while in transit, and had to carry the sewing basket and find a place to stash Becky's bottle. It was also pretty mean of, well, everyone to keep sending Becky booze. Everyone knows what Becky can get like when she's drunk. Even Steve, who was one of the ones that started it off, should have known better. Liz probably sent it more for the same reason Blanche did, to be mean, hoping they'd get the exact result they did.

With all this going on, the rest of the double episode was definitely an anti-climax. Gail is going to try to save Joe, seeing something redeemable in him. Or maybe just getting desperate in her middle age. I think he probably is someone that could be saved, though, and I do like he and Gail together. He's not a bad man, he just has some personal problems that aren't easy for family and loved ones to deal with but it shows how much Gail cares to want to be supportive.

Maria's about face regarding Tony is sticking in my craw. I can see how it came about, though. The grief she felt and the anger over the discovery of Carla and Liam's affair really did send her a bit round the bend. Tony did kill Liam and nearly killed Jed but it seemed like when she found out Jed hadn't died after all, and not knowing all the rest like Carla does, it deflated her anger and drive. It doesn't really make sense that she'd want to be friends with Tony when she never was before but this isn't real life, is it? It's a soap and we have to put aside disbelief sometimes.

It was nice not to have to see David whining and self-pitying and very, very nice not to see Mr. and Mrs. Smug-on-a-barge.

For me, this is going to go down in my books as one of the best non-weddings on Coronation Street and probably in my books under "funniest scenes" along with the one about Boris the Spider and Alec Gilroy. Remind me to tell you that sometime.

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