The State of the Street: January

It's about time for another "state of the union" essay, I think. I may do this on a semi regular basis when something moves me to write.

Wait, Peter's where?? I must have missed something. The last we saw of Peter Barlow, he was basking in the afterglow of a bit of How's Your Father with Leanne. Friday night, Peter's been in Portsmouth and now he's gone missing? When did he scarper off to Portsmouth? I'll agree that he never did stop drinking like he promised but was there something said in passing that he was going down south?

I can accept that Rosie did her photo shoot weeks and weeks ago but the journalist held on to the story until after John was sentenced before publishing it. I don't accept that uppity Sally Webster would be taking a daily subscription to a tabloid that would publish such rubbish. Surely the stalwart Weatherfield Gazette isn't that trashy? Maybe Kevin would have something like that around the garage for his tea break but would Sally sully the doorstep with the likes of that? I think not!

Fiz is only 23. I looked it up. For some reason I thought she was Tyrone's age, 26 (I looked that up, too). When Chesney tried to fix up Fiz with Graeme last week, I was thinking there was a bit of an age gap there which tends to make a difference when the lad is young to start with. We don't know how old Graeme is but he has to be pretty close to David's age or he wouldn't have been in the Young Offender's prison. He may have turned 18 in the interim so given he could be 18, Fiz's 23 isn't that much older after all. Mind you, it's probably still a bit too old. Fiz really had to grow up young, taking on a lot of Cilla's maternal responsibilities for Chesney most of his life. John was much too old, and was probably first with Fiz when she was in school at 16 because she's been in Corrie since just after she left school and pretty much immediately set her cap at Tyrone. I take it back. I guess I should have said Fiz was too old for Stape!

Ken is about to embark on a romance with a woman who lives on a houseboat. He wants to be careful. He could end up overboard and over his head. I appreciate that they still give him storylines, as the longest serving cast member. Could they not do the same for Emily? Why couldn't she have met an eccentric man who lived on a houseboat instead of being Norris' parcel delivery girl. Why does she have to take the parcel to the Kabin? Can't it just wait at home for him? Why doesn't he just get it delivered straight to the Kabin? Because they wanted to give Emily something to do, I guess. My point exactly. Putting Janice in the hospital with Emily would be so much more satisfying if we actually saw them other than briefly now and then as Emily is suiting up to go home. Having her worry over Jed? Would have been better if he'd actually been flirting with her. The last really solid storyline she had was the redemption of Ernest's killer.

A new storyline for Ken involves... giving him yet another girlfriend. I saw an interview with Bill Roache who said Ken was very good at getting the women but not very good at keeping them. I suppose that's true. He kept losing them to Mike Baldwin or picking up Mike's leftovers! I never really liked Ken very much, he always considered himself better than anyone else, especially his wives and never really gave them the respect they were due, even the sainted Val! Now he's going to tell his new squeeze that his wife is dead! Nice. Also, typical.

Tyrone and Molly are on a chilly seaside honeymoon in Blackpool, arranged by a very contrite Pam. I liked the character, she had great comic delivery but as time went on, I realized she's a very selfish woman. I know she set up that one last deal to get the cash to pay for Jack's new pigeon coop, or so she said but after all the trouble she got Tyrone in, nearly losing him the love of his life, why else would she have insisted he had to finish the deal on his wedding day! And with someone that turned out to be her ... was she married to Whispering Geoff? I forget. Doesn't matter. How come she didn't know that's who she was doing a deal with? Tyrone started the deal but I fail to believe she didn't know who the man was. She didn't have any trouble guessing even though nobody said the man whispered until she asked if he did. Pretending to be a cop to scam people is probably one of Geoff's tricks. Why didn't she just drop the deal if she couldn't see to it herself? Selfish. Not as selfish as Jackie Dobbs, mind you, but not far off in some respects. All the double dealing and trickery aside, though, I loved the wedding. It was perfect for Ty and Molly, fairytale start, dream dress, coach and horses, Vera remembered, and even down to poor Tyrone fainting at the altar with all the stress and a honeymoon gone awry! Bless!

Maria's in a heartbreaking spot. She knows, and we know that Tony killed her husband. Nobody believes her and they all think grief is driving her round the twist. Tony was worried at first but he now realizes that people are on his side. He would be wise to learn the lessons of Richard Hillman. The truth always comes out. Your wife, too, will think you are Norman Bates with a briefcase, Tony, and it will all come crumbling down around your ears. Like Richard, you will lose the thing you committed murder to keep, your family. For now, he's playing it brilliantly. He did confess to Maria but when she goes screeching to the Street about it in her pyjamas, hair wild, nails unsheathed, spouting a story that can't possibly be true ("You say he strangled an old man with lingerie and stuffed him in a knicker bin? Oh you poor child!") then it only reinforces everyone's belief that Maria needs psychiatric help. Jed's not dead and Tony decides to bring him round to prove it but Carla is going to start having ideas and Tony's neat little world starts to crack.

Gail has a new fella, finally. He seemed like such a nice man. Now his veneer is showing cracks with a temper and a huge dollop of male pride that makes him retreat into a virtual cave every time things get on top of him. Will his temper end up being the deal breaker here or will it just be one of those things that the love of a good woman can help him overcome? I think he's going to be ok, not another psycho like Hillman but as usual, it didn't take Gail very long before he's been invited into the budoir. David put it quite well, "You must have different memories (of family life) from me!" Imagine what he'd have said or done if he *didn't* like Joe. I can see it must be a bit awkward though, with David and Tina sharing a love nest with David's mother and Tina's father. Once Joe's business gets back on its feet, and it will, just like Ashley's has, maybe Audrey will rent the salon flat to the young couple as it's empty now.

Speaking of Ashley, he's hired a new assistant. Apparently Boris is still in residence at the shop but we never, ever see him. He was last mentioned when Ashley had to lay off Kirk yet when it came time to rehire a third body behind the counter, Kirk was not given his job back. Ashley promised!! Kirk, as far as I know, isn't working yet is he? While it's great to have Graeme Proctor around as a regular character, it's not really a nice thing for Ash to do. Darryl is kind of at loose ends, too, lodging in Dev's spare room (or Amber's, when Dev isn't looking). Surely there's another empty flat that Darryl and Graeme could share? The other one over the Kabin is still free unless Michelle moves into that one. There was only ever the one poky flat over the betting shop, and then there was a nicer one as well when Peter and Shelley lived there (and later Ciaran) at the same time that Todd and Sarah shared the poky one. Spoilers say Michelle is going to have a job in the betting shop (probably because Jane Danson is going on mat leave, after which Kym can go on hers when Jane comes back). All this potential flat hopping is starting to sound like musical chairs!

Speaking of Michelle, awww you had to feel bad for her. Steve's instant feelings of love for Becky aren't really that out of character for him. He married Karen for a bet when they'd only been dating a very short time. Steve's clumsy plot to try to be a bad boyfriend to make Michelle be the one to break up with him blew up spectacularly in his face but he did get his wish. He just didn't get the girl he wanted, not yet anyway. He's scampering around now trying hard to make nice to everyone so that nobody will hate him. That's not out of character for Steve either. He's always been like that, evasive with the reins of responsibility when it came to relationships. We all know Steve is the one Becky really wants and they'll end up together sooner or later. Jason's gong to get heartbroken yet again.

I'm glad they didn't have Jack fixed up with a new woman. I suppose they will eventually but it would probably make more sense if they didn't. As much as Jack was always a ladies' man, it would be a lovely tribute to Vera if he stays single. Rita has a new fella, Eileen's dad Colin. It would be nice to see a bit more of that relationship, and the father/daughter one which could explain why they have different last names. Eileen's never been married but her name and his are not the same so perhaps Colin and Eileen's mum weren't married? Inquiring minds want to know. The next spoilers we hear have Julie turning out to be the daughter of one of Eileen's old school friends. Considering the actor is around 35 and Eileen is 48 this year, I'm guessing Julie is younger than she looks or the school friend was like Sarah, pregnant at 13. Prediction: what I'm hoping for is that Julie will turn out to be Eileen's half sister! That and a new man for Eileen with the return of John Thompson's Jesse make for a good year for Sue Cleaver and I can't be happier!

Right, well the last time I wrote an essay was to put 2008 to rest. So far, 2009 is shaping up pretty good. There are a few anomalies but nothing that has me wanting to fling something at the telly in frustration, just raise my eyebrows and go "huh???" and that's pretty much the norm when you have different writers for each episode. Little things get glossed over, continuity might suffer a little and sometimes it has to for the storyline's sake, I guess. Onward and upward, Ms. Crowther, well done so far!