Coronation Street episode review, Friday 25 January

Double episode written by Simon Crowther
Last week's Friday episodes were all about death. This week it was all about sex. And leading the smouldering were, of course, Liam and Carla. Upon discovering that only one room was booked for them at t'hotel, Carla hardly bothered to feign surprise. There were no other rooms at the inn due to a chemical engineering conference, so Carla said they could at least use her room to get ready for their meeting. Which meant showers. Which meant glimpses of flesh and good strategic use of fluffy white bathrobes. Maria rang Liam and was disturbed when Carla answered. Maria wanted to know what Carla was doing in Liam's room while he was having a shower. "I'm not in his room. He's in my room," said Carla, a distinction which of course made things sound much worse. Then she pretended the line was breaking up.

After the showers, and the boring matter of the business meeting, Carla continued her charm offensive over drinks at the hotel bar. These scenes were absolutely stuffed with sexual tension - they couldn't take their eyes off each other. They'd more or less agreed that they were going to go to bed and Maria would never find out...

when they realised a big eye was looking at them. Tony Gordon had turned up to "surprise" Carla. Liam practically burst into tears with frustration, but gracefully said he'd go and get his things from his room and pop back home and surprise Maria.

Maria, meanwhile, knows no shame and was bleating on at everybody in t'Rovers about how Liam and Carla were together in a hotel and what could possibly be going on, and was she really shtupid? Yes, love, you are.

Sex was also on the menu at the Platt's. Gail went out to give David and Tina some "space." She also left her youngest a little present of a condom. She's dead liberal, is Gail. Everyone in t'Rovers soon heard what David was up to (it took their minds off worrying about what Carla and Liam might be up to). "Is it his first time?" Jerry enquired. "They've been at it for a while," confided Audrey.

And sex was the subject of a rather tedious interlude involving the Masons ("He's like Henry VIII with a shave," Blanche said of Mason Senior). Something to do with Mason Junior and a pair of white stilettos, but it was too tedious to go into here. I can't work those two out - there doesn't seem to be any kind of consistent character emerging for either of them. All you can really say is that Mason Junior is a bit thick.

Meanwhile, Michelle got the results of the DNA test, and hey-ho, what do you know, Ryan isn't her son after all. He still says he doesn't want to see Wendy and Nick, and wanted her to say she won't see Alex, but she's now saying that's up to Alex. So much for the oft-repeated reassurances of "nothing will ever change."

Liz and Vernon got back from their honeymoon, and Vernon was welcomed into the extended family by being let into the secret that his step-grandson "sort-of" (a description which sent Ryan fleeing for the stairs) - sort-of isn't. You can imagine how confused Vernon is.

There were a couple of scenes with Jack. He'd had a card from Terry - a cheap one, with the price on the back. And he's left a message for Terry about the funeral. Slimy Paul isn't looking forward to seeing his father. Jack wants Paul to do a reading at the funeral.

And Valentine's Day is on its way. We know this because there are teddies and red hearts in t'Kabin.

Sue H