Monday chuckle

Just to counter today's Monday Moan a little bit, I thought I'd post an extract from a written update I did for an episode that originally aired on Granada on July 17, 1991. Canadian viewers used to get classic Coronation Street episodes from the 90s on the old WTN television network (now called, imaginatively, "W") and I used to be part of a team that would write up episode summaries and post them to a mailing list. This episode had the wonderful Keith Clifford who would later play Charlie West with such perfection, as an old show business mate of Alec Gilroy's called Harry Norton. Their exchange at the bar had me in stitches and after the moan about recasting Keith as a non-Charlie character, I thought you might enjoy this pre-Charlie character's dialogue with Alec. I still get a laugh out of it. Click behind the link below to read it.

The dialogue quoted within would, of course, be copyright of Granada and ITV but the opinions expressed and the descriptions are mine!

Alec greets a wizened gentleman, a man possibly around 60 years of age. He's got a horrible brown toupee on the likes of which I haven't seen since college when a gray haired instructor used to sport a black top piece. Anyway, Alec greets the man effusively. "Harry Flamin' Norton!!!" (Harry Flamin' Norton indeed!! It's Charlie Flippin' West, so it is!! Same actor! Strewth!) Anyway in his former life on Coronation Street, Charlie, er... Harry is an old show business cohort of Alec's and is in due course introduced to Raquel who's quite interested, hoping Harry could get her into show business. There seems to be a bit of an inside joke as Alec and Harry carry on Raquel is told that she doesn't have the attributes he is looking for.

Alec laughs and Raquel looks puzzled, Why Not?

Alec "Well, Harry's who the stars look to when they want an assistant."

Raquel "Like standing about in fishnet stockings? I can do that cause me legs aren't too bad!"

Alec laughs conspiratorially with Harry "Only problem is you might not have enough or maybe even too many!"

Harry sets Raquel straight, He deals with animals, anything at all...pythons for strippers, ducks for magicians. Alec interjects, if a rabbit comes out of a hat anywhere from er.. "City A to City B (didn't catch the names)" you can bet your bottom dollar it's one of Harry's. Now Raquel is really suspicious that they're pulling her leg, cause Alec does, you know.

Harry goes on to explain he's known for it, it's in his blood. Alec asks was it his grandfather or great-grandfather that had fleas? Now Raquel is looking alarmed, positive they're having her on and it doesn't help that Harry describes how they were passed down to an uncle who gave them to a museum. (I'm chuckling with tears rolling down my cheeks now, especially when Harry says "My grandfather once trained a flea to do the splits on a circular saw." Alec offers "Mind you, it was never the same after that" "Not with crutches, no!" adds Harry with a grin. Harry clarifies, it was the largest flea circus in the North, was "The Mighty Infinitessimos", irreverently known as "Norton's Performing Nits!" Alec declares "By GOD, they knew what entertainment was in them days!"

I'm grinning now just rereading it and hearing Alec's approving exclamation over that last sentiment! These three actors had perfect comic timing, including Sarah Lancashire who played the delightfully dim Raquel, perfect foil for the men. Ah, them were the good old days on Corrie!